The statistician ponders the question for a moment, and then answers "1000. When the statistician comes in, they ask the same question. What is 500 plus 500?" The mathematician, without hesitation, says "1000." The committee sends him out and calls in the statistician. The interviewing committee first calls in the mathematician. One is a mathematician, one a statistician, and one an accountant. There are three people applying for the same job. Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?Ī calculator she wanted.the natural rhythm of my log she got. Q: What is the definition of a polar bear?Ī: A rectangular bear after a coordinate transformation ![]() Q: What did one math book say to the other?Ī: Don't bother me I've got my own problems!Ī: Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, and square root her. Q: Why dont people put the numbers 2,3, and 0 together? Q: What did the mathematician's parrot say? Q: What did 2 say to 4 after 2 beat him in a race? Please, rotate your phone by 90 degrees and try again." Q: How do you know when you've reached your Math Professors voice-mail?Ī: The message is "The number you have dialed is imaginary. Q: How do you call the largest accumulation point of poles? Q: How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children?Ī: `I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times.'Ī: "Aleph-nought Bottles of Beer on the Wall." in mathematics and a large pizza?Ī: A large pizza can feed a family of four Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. Q: What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean? Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?Ī: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work - the philosopher can do without the trash bin. Q: What do you get if you add two apples and three apples? Q: What do you get if you cross a math teacher with a crab?Ī: When 2 are 1 and don't pay at10tion, they'll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they'll be 3. Q: How does a math professor propose to his fiancée? Q: How do you call a one-sided nudie bar? Q: How is an artificial christmas tree like the fourth root of -68? Q: Why did the mutually exclusive events break up? Q: What does the zero say to the the eight? Q: What did the mathematician say when he finished his christmas dinner? Q: What do you call a number that can't keep still? ![]() Q: What do you call friends who love math? Q: Where do math teachers go on vacation? Q: How do you know your math tutor is hungry? Q: Why don't you do arithmetic in the jungle? Q: What does a mathematician do about constipation?Ī: Because it always has lots of problems. Q: Why couldn't the moebius strip enroll at the school? Q: Why should the number 288 never be mentioned? Q: Why wasn't the geometry teacher at school? Q: Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? Q: What happened to the plant in math class? Q: How many molecules in a bowl of guacamole? Q: Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? Q: Why didn't the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel? ![]() Q: Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
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